Shit I’ve Learned The Hard Way

Shaving in the dark doesn’t end well: The other morning when I was running late I shaved in the dark. You may be wondering why I didn’t just reach over and turn on the light. My only answer is a lack of coffee.

I noticed it at work on my first trip to the bathroom. I looked like I let Ray Charles shave my face. And he’s blind— and dead.

Chorizo chili is too delicious: If you’ve never made chili with ground chorizo, you absolutely must. It is delicious, so delicious that I usually eat a couple bowls for dinner. Then I generally take it for lunch the next day. This doesn’t seem like a big deal unless you work in a tiny, quiet office like I do. Draw your own conclusions.

Air freshener booby traps: My wife has planted these little air freshener spraying devices all over the house. There’s one on top of the toilet in the downstairs bathroom. The other morning I found out that this little bugger is lined up directly with my penis. Oh, it smells like pine cones.

Wash your ass last: This one should go without saying but my 5-year-old doesn’t get it. Actually, he thinks it’s funny to wash his ass first. Enjoy your pink eye buddy!

 

 

 

 

 

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