Don’t Be A Bad Driver – Follow These Road Rules

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It has been a year since I blogged about driving tips, and proper driving etiquette hasn’t improved. I’ve taken some of my valuable time to compile this list, a bible if you will, of driving rules so you won’t end up driving like a damn fool. You’re welcome!

Don’t drive in the fast lane unless you intend to drive fast: If you can’t muster up the courage to speed in the fast lane, then stay the fuck out of it. That lane is reserved for those of us that are willing to risk life and limb to get to our destination 3 minutes sooner than we would have by going the speed limit.

Motorcycle riders need to watch out for cars and trucks, not the other way around: Motorcycle riders are often the most dangerous people on the road. They’re hard to see and they like to showboat. They swerve in and out of traffic like they need to prove to you that their motorcycles will go places that your car won’t.  I do my best to watch out for them, but they really should be watching for me, and the other people who prefer 4 wheels. If you hit me on your Fat Boy Harley, I’m sure I’ll be fine physically. You, on the other hand, will probably be dead.

Where the fuck are you turning? If you change lanes on the highway, don’t forget to turn off your blinker. Driving for 10 miles with your left or right blinker on is confusing as hell to everyone behind you. Plus it agitates people. Agitated people are more likely to run you off the road and cave your head in with a tire iron.

Your foot is not faster than a radar gun: If you spot a cop with a radar gun out, don’t mash your brakes, it’s already too late, the cop knows your speeding. The only sensible option at that point is to drive by with your middle finger up.

Don’t tailgate speeders: What exactly are you trying to achieve by tailgating? Nothing good will come from it. It’s kind of like a knife fight. Nobody really wins a knife fight. Instead, you should blow your horn and flail your arms wildly, maybe pump the trusty old middle finger up and down a couple of times. This will get the message across and eventually the slow poke will let you by. They also may run you off the road.

Follow these rules and you’ll have a nice peaceful drive.

Stay safe out there!

 

 

 

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