It’s been a long while since I’ve blogged. It feels good to get back on here and spew forth nonsense into the cyber world. My plan, fingers crossed, is to put out at least two blogs a week. Without further ado….
Puppies: My wife brought a 2-pound long hair Chihuahua into our family. Her name is Lulu and she shits absolutely everywhere. Needless to say, I don’t like her shitting habits. If only she was more useful than just looking cute. Well, I found some utilitarian uses for little Lulu.
If I kick back in the recliner and place her at the bottom of the chair, in the little nook, she’ll eat the dead skin from my dry cracked heels. I find that Lulu is a much more preferable option than the amope foot thingy that my wife tries to get me to use on my feet.
Most normal people have a belly button, I have a deep gaping chasm in my stomach. Usually, I’d wrap a wash cloth around my finger in the shower and have at it. But that was before Lulu. Again, if I kick back in the recliner, place her on my stomach, she’ll go to work in there.
Lulu does all of this and rarely draws blood. Now that’s a utility dog!
Cable: As a lot of you probably already know, your cable company requires blood to deliver you entertainment. I received my latest cable bill and it was 20 dollars more than last month. I call them— only to have them inform me that all of my promotions have ended. I balked, complained, and threatened to leave. They didn’t give a fuck. I cut the cord.
If all goes well, I’ll never have cable television again.
Refrigerators: When I moved into my new house, and by new house I mean one built in the 60’s, all of the appliances were supplied. All except the refrigerator. There was a little area carved out for one. It was crappy looking. There was an exposed hole in the drywall, the flooring was crude and unfinished, and the cabinetry stopped abruptly. Luckily, the refrigerator I had at my old house fit. Little did I know that it was the last fridge on earth that size.
A week ago my wife called me at work and told me the fridge took a shit. She’s called wolf a couple times on this so I was skeptical. After work when I got home and checked, it was indeed broken.
I Dumped the food and removed the old fridge. I ran up to Lowe’s full of confidence. After measuring several refrigerators I started to worry. I asked an associate for a fridge with the depth that I needed and he laughed. He informed me that they make refrigerators deeper now. A quick google search confirmed this.
I have a nice big fridge now. I had to rearrange the world to fit in the kitchen. I also had to completely disassemble it in my front yard just to fit it in my house and up the stairs.
I had to drop an extra 300 bucks into cabinets to cover the old refrigerator area. Not to mention time and effort. Here’s the bright side… I’ll probably get to do this all over again in the next 5 to 10 years.