According to the Iowa City Police, a man was driving the wrong way down a one way street when they nabbed him. A failed field sobriety test later, he was in a drunk driving processing room. That’s where he hatched his brilliant plan to fool the breathalyzer— eat toilet paper. It didn’t work— he failed the test.
I guess he was really “three sheets to the wind.” (I know, I know, that was cheesy.)