Americans Love To Worship Politicians

That fact that I’m already seeing campaign yard signs and bumper stickers makes me want to vomit. While at a stop light yesterday, I puked in my mouth a little. The two cars ahead of me were proudly displaying stickers. One woman, driving a funny little electric car of some sort, was rocking a Hillary Clinton 2016 sticker. Beside her, in a rather big (my penis is small) truck, a guy had a Jeb Bush sticker. His truck bumper also featured a sticker with the face of George W. Bush and a caption. The caption stated “Ya Miss Me Yet” No sir, no I don’t.

This American stereotype is the box that they’ve created for you— jump in. Clinton VS Bush, how original!

The stickers made me think— Do they really make a difference? Why are the stickers really there, what’s the purpose?

In the long history of elections, I wonder if there’s ever been a single human swayed by a campaign sticker or sign. I mean, how would that work? Let’s say that I support Joe Schmuckatelli— I see a sticker pushing Zander Radanovich— would the mere presence of the Radanovich sticker cause me to jump off of the Schmuckatelli bandwagon?

What if I had an allegiance to no one? Would laying eyes on a Schmuckatelli yard sign persuade me to pull the lever for him? I think not.

There’s only one reason for the signs and stickers. People want to prove to the world what side of the box they’re in. It’s a shout out to the world— I support Jeb, and there’s nothing he can do to change that.

People are often lobotomized by politics. There’s virtually nothing these politicians can do to lose the support of their worshipers. Hillary Clinton could go on live television and stomp on a puppy’s head until it looks like a spilled plate of spaghetti. The woman driving that clown car still wouldn’t remove her Clinton sticker.

It’s the same game for republicans. Jeb Bush could get caught throwing kittens at road signs from a moving vehicle, it wouldn’t matter. His supporters would explain it away. I could see that man driving the “my penis is small” truck saying something like— “Hell yeah Jeb throws kittens at signs, don’t you?”

It is a sad state of affairs.

I’m not saying don’t vote, or stay out of politics, though I would fully understand it if you wanted to withdraw your consent from the machine.

What I am saying is to knock off the political idolatry. Come to grips with a few facts:

  1. Politicians are not selfless crusaders for justice working tirelessly for the people.
  2. It’s more likely that the majority of the politicians are self-serving crooks looking out only for their own self-interest.

I was once a political creature. (Still am, though I view politics with a more cynical set of eyes.) The savagery of politics is fun to watch— fun like being a spectator of some strange macabre circus. A circus where the dwarfs fight each other with straight razors and the strong man throws elephant dung at the crowd.

I still follow politics and vote on every Election Day. I’m all over the map though. I’ve voted for democrats, republicans, libertarians and green party candidates. Some votes genuine, others were protest votes. My vote doesn’t really count, so I whore it out liberally.

There’s not much that I can do about the bumper stickers. I don’t want to mess with other people’s vehicles. Yard signs are a different story.

The campaign signs stare me down at every intersection and stoplight. Most of them are placed in the public domain. Street curbs, telephone poles, ect…. That must mean that they’re subject to the will of the public.

One of these nights the signs are going to blow away. By blow away I mean take a ride in my trunk to my fire pit, a nice demise for roadside trash.

I’ll leave you with a quote from my political quote blog.

“Political discourse has become so rotten that it’s no longer possible to tell the stench of one presidential candidate from the stink of another.”
— P.J. O’Rourke
Copyright © 2015 by Permission to reprint in whole or in part is gladly granted for non-commercial uses, provided full credit and a live link are given.

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