Five Funny Quotes

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“Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.”

— Robert Bloch

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“Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”

— Dave Barry

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“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”

— Flip Wilson

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“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”

— Hunter S. Thompson

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“When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.”

— Norm Crosby

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