Things That I’ve Learned The Hard Way


A few days ago I bought a pomegranate for two bucks. I’ve had it in juice form and liked it so I was looking forward to trying the actual raw fruit.

Yesterday I cut the pomegranate in half and tried to eat it. That’s when I realized that I had no F-ing clue how to cut, peel, or eat a pomegranate. I didn’t even know that you’re supposed to eat the seeds.

Don’t laugh— when I opened that sucker up, I thought it was rotten or something. Pomegranate innards look bizarre. There was only one logical option— I went to youtube university.

Pomegranate is obviously a complex fruit that deserves better than me. Pomegranate and I have decided to see other fruit/people. Good luck pomegranate!

Recently I learned that when your wife tells you that she doesn’t care about the color of the furniture, what she really means is that it better match.

We had a tan couch when we bought our green recliner. The wife assured me that the mismatched colors were fine.

About seven seconds after seeing the recliner next to the tan couch, her campaign for a green couch began. The campaign for the couch was a war— a war of attrition that I lost. We now have a matching couch/recliner set.

Happy wife, happy life!

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