I love it when people pull out in front of me and then drive slowly. Apparently, at the moment of launch, they’re willing to risk life and limb to pull out in front of me, only to become a law-abiding citizen and drive 5 mph below the speed limit. Thanks for that.
My alarm clock is terrifying. There is no hidden meaning there. I’m not trying to make you get all Dr. Phil on me. Don’t think that I don’t want to start my day. I’m more than happy to start my day, it’s just— my alarm clock sounds like what I would imagine a missile launch warning to sound. Think war movie in an underground bunker. WOMP…WOMP….WOMP…. I’m never prepared for it.
I can’t stand it when people use irregardless, instead of regardless. That’s all I want to say about that.
I hate the stick figure family on the back window of cars. I have a family that I love too. I don’t feel compelled to advertise it on the back of my car. When I’m stuck in traffic, I don’t want to look at your stick figure family stickers. If you have them on your car, please go remove them.
Enough with celebrity worship. I don’t care how fat Kim Kardashian’s ass is at the moment. Nor do I care what Gweneth Paltrow feeds her kids. Ben Affleck is an actor, not a diplomat, his view on foreign policy is meaningless to me. Lets face it, the chances that you’re going to hear something profound come out of a celebrities mouth is next to zero.
Shut off the TV and read a book.
Screw your diet and eat some pizza, or a hamburger.
Take a day off work and just lounge around the house in a robe.